Adventure Time: Hero for Hire
by QmacAttack
Summary: A new guy comes to The Land of Ooo and he makes a big impression on its inhabitants.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Vampire Hunter

Finn and Jake sat in there treehouse with blank looks on their faces. They stayed that way for about 3 days until Jake let out a wet one.

"I win, in your face Jake" yelled Finn as he jumped up and started dancing.

"How did you win" argued Jake.

"Last time I checked inanimate objects didn't fart"

"I guess you're right, all that doing nothing got me hungry"

Finn's eyes opened extra wide "Me too Jake, hungry for ADVENTURE"

"Umm sure we can go on an adventure as soon as I have a snack"

"You can't adventure on an empty stomach" agreed Finn as he followed Jake into the kitchen.

After their snack Finn and Jake headed out on their adventure.

"Finn looks up in shock, "Jake someone stole the sun"

"It's night time dude look there's the moon"

"Oh then in that case, LET'S GO"

After they ran around the Land of Ooo they finally realized everyone was sleep.

"What the french toast man everyone is asleep"

"I know who isn't sleep"

"Who wouldn't be sleep at thi… oh no dude"

"Oh yes Jake, let's go to Marceline's Cave/House"

So Finn drags the terrified Jake to Marceline's Cave/House. Finn and Jake arrived and noticed her door was broken down.

"Whoa Marceline must have had one heck of a party"

They looked around at her trashed house, "Finn I think Marceline was kidnapped"

Finn put up his O face. "Oh snap… wait how do you know that"

"The marks on the wall show a sign of struggle, these must be Marceline's claws but this looks like the blade of a sword.

"No way Jake how do you know all this"

"CSI marathon"

"That explains it".

Suddenly Marceline jumped out of nowhere and tackled Finn to the ground. She hissed angrily while making an evily demonic face.

"Oh Finn it's you" said Marceline as she got off of him.

Finn pulled Jake from under a flipped over couch, "It's okay Marceline but I think you scared Jake"

"I wasn't scared, but I think you'll need a new couch"

"Don't worry I don't even sit on I just float"

"We thought you were kidnapped"

"No I wasn't kidnapped I'm being hunted by a vampire hunter"

"Holy sheets of paper do you want us to protect you"

"No way Finn, vampire hunters are serious trouble"

"I can take whoever it is that's after you"

"Hey Finn let's just help her clean up the place"

Jake put the door back on the hinges when suddenly someone kicked the door back down on top of Jake.

"It took me awhile to realize you never left" said a tall black man with an awesome Mohawk and vampire tooth.

"Whoa this guy looks awesome, hey Marceline do you know this guy"

"Finn that's the vampire hunter" yelled Marceline

"Marceline the Vampire Queen your toast"

Marceline lunged at him, he dodged her attack then through some wooden stakes that Marceline easily dodged. Marceline hissed then turned to a bat and flew out her window. Jake sat there with a bucket of popcorn as Finn ran after Marceline's pursuer.

"Hey is he human" asked a confused Finn.

"No…yes…kinda, I'm half vampire"

Finn with his O face on said, "Wait if you're a vampire why are you hunting vampires"

Before he could answer Finn's question Marceline fell out of the sky with her Battle Axe. The hunter pulled out his sword in enough time to evade her attack.

"Marceline my love why has it escalated to this"

"Because you're a creepy stalker"

"Wait this guy has a crush on Marceline", laughed Jake.

"You never forget your first Jake the Dog"

"How do you know my name?"

"It says your name in the theme song"

"Oh that explains it"

Marceline grabbed the vampire hunter and threw him against a tree. "I don't know why all these fanfics have me a lubby dubby vampire girl. Do they really wanna go out with this"

Marceline turned to a hairy unrecognizable figure. The vampire hunter turned a sickly pail, which is hard for a black guy. He then blew chunks then ran away.

"Well that was interesting" said Jake climbing down a nearby tree with an empty box of popcorn.

"You said it buddy"

"The sun's coming up so I will see you guys later" said Marceline as she walked back home.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Knight in Shining Armor

Walking through the woods with his head hung low and his sword dragging in the dirt. The vampire hunter who is now revealed to be Qmac Attack was distraught after the girl he thought he loved turned out to be a hideous monster.

"Man this blows, I thought she loved me. I mean come on she bit me without turning me into a full vampire that must mean she had to show some restraint. All I got is white blood which I must say is cool."

Suddenly Qmac tripped over something, or someone.

"Hey watch where you're going jerk" said a big purple cloud type thing.

"Sorry ma'am I'm Qmac Attack"

"Oh my gosh are you a knight, knights are so hot"

With a sly look on his face Qmac picked up his sword and waved it around. "You know it babe I'm your knight in shining armor.

"Oh my gosh are you single"

Qmac's smile quickly turned into a frown "Oh umm…" He bolted off disappearing in the woods. He ran for a while until he tripped over Raggedy Princess. He cut his leg on her glass crown and began bleeding white blood.

"Oh my I'm so sorry" said the helpless princess who was trying to stand but she couldn't do to her lack of arms.

"No ma'am I'm sorry" He helped her up by that time his wound healed itself. She giggled passionately.

"Thank you, I take it you are a knight"

"Yes ma'am I'm your knight in shining armor.

She giggled then ran away blushing. She then returned with a bunch of other princesses. Lumpy space princess was in the crowd.

"Oh I get it you ran off to save Raggedy Princess"

"Sure, you know me saving princess"

Qmac noticed Slime Princess hanging of a branch. He did a mad dash toward the tree, he jumped and caught her before she could break her face.

"Oh Qmac Attack you're my hero"

**Finn's POV**

"My hero senses are tingling. Hey Jake lets go check on the princesses."

Finn jumped on Jake's back and took him to the kingdoms of random princesses.

"Everyone is gone, everyone except Princess Bubblegum"

"Hey Princess Bubblegum where are all the princesses"

"They went to meet the new hero"

"NEW HERO" Finn and Jake ran off into the forest.

Finn and Jake meet up with Qmac who was being smothered by princesses.

Finn ran up and with his sword drawn he yelled "Adventure Time"

"There's only room for one hero here"

Qmac drew his sword and attacked Finn. Finn countered his attack then punched him in the face. Qmac recovered then then attacked some more after five days the princesses and Jake had left and it was just Qmac and Finn.

"This is pointless"

"I feel ya man lets get outta here"

So Jake and Qmac walked off into the sunset.


End file.
